


I Want My Hat Back

by hhertzof



Series: Hat Attack [2]
Category: Megillat Ester | Book of Esther, Warehouse 13
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Gen, Hamantashen | Oznei Haman, Purimspiel, Recipes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:40:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10164197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhertzof/pseuds/hhertzof
Summary: In which the day is saved.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mesonyx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mesonyx/gifts).



With a wary eye on the office, I made my way deeper into the archive than I'd planned before I gave Artie a call. I described, as best as I could how they'd been acting, but it wasn't until I brought up the Jewish thing that the wires connected in his head.

"Hamen's hat. How did I not see that?" The moment he said it, it made perfect sense. Artie sounded about as annoyed as usual, but at least he was being grumpy at himself and not at me.

"That stupid pirate logo," I replied. "I bet someone who didn't know what it was, decided to use it for a play."

"That wouldn't have gone well at all," Artie replied. "The hat would have triggered the Purimspiel. A very different play than the one they intended to give, I suspect."

"So if Pete is Hamen..."

"He must think Steve is Ahasuerus, I'm Mordechai, and Myka is either Haman's wife or one of his advisors. Which means that you're going to have to play Esther's role. You'll need her crown, which should be with the other tiaras."

"Got it."

"It's probably in the Tiamat aisle..."

"No, I mean I've got it. In my hand." I picked up the delicate (yet heavy) gold piece and feeling less silly than I'd expected, put it on my head. "I think I must have been led here. Either by the hat or by the tiara."

"Probably. Since the goal of both artifacts is to bring this spiel to it's proper conclusion. Just remember that you need to get the hat off Pete's head and neutralize it before the story comes to its logical conclusion."

I thought about this for a second. "Wasn't Haman hanged?"

"Precisely. Now go."

There isn't much else to tell. When I got to the office, Jinxy at the point in the story where he was proclaiming loudly that Artie needed to be rewarded for saving his life and Pete as Haman was arguing against it. I threw the tiara as hard as I could and knocked the hat off Pete's head first try. Grabbed, it bagged it, and suddenly everyone was falling over themselves trying to let Artie back into the Warehouse.

He was about as irritated as usual, but that didn't stop him from showing up the next day with a plate of the best Hamentashen I'd ever tasted. Better than Bubbie's.

I've included Artie's recipe in case you ever want to make some.

Your favorite sister (and queen),  
Claudia

  


**Hamentashen**

2 c flour  
1c butter  
1/2 lb cream cheese

Filling  
1/2 c poppy seeds  
1c walnuts, chopped fine  
1c raisins  
honey

Sift flour  
Cream butter & cream cheese together until well blended  
Gradually add flour a little at a time  
Make a ball of dough and refrigerate overnight  
Roll out (not too thin), cut in 3" squares and fill with  
mohn filling, jam, jelly, preserves, or chocolate chips  
To make filling, combine poppy seeds, nuts, & raisins and mix with enough honey to hold together  
Place one tablespoon of mixture on each square of dough and fold dough over to make a triangle  
Bake in a greased pan in 350° oven until cakes are golden brown, about 20 minutes

**Author's Note:**

> Titles with apologies to Jon Klassen.  
> Recipe originated in Simple Jewish Cookery by Edna Beilenson, but I've tweaked it over the years.


End file.
